


Can't Push It Underground

by seriaan



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Academy Era, Accidental Voyeurism, Alpha/Alpha, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Knotting, M/M, Minor het, Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Omega kink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-06
Updated: 2017-08-06
Packaged: 2018-12-11 05:48:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11708085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seriaan/pseuds/seriaan
Summary: It’s not as if Leonard has never thought about sleeping with another alpha.





	Can't Push It Underground

**Author's Note:**

> An idea I was just messing around with; I hope you like it. Just to be clear: there's some in-verse questioning of the idea that alphas and omegas are solely meant for each other and not anyone else and that's what I intended it as - just questioning, not bashing or anything else at all, so I hope it doesn't come across that way.

It’s not as if Leonard has never thought about sleeping with another alpha.

It isn’t the taboo it once was: alphas meeting in secret, in the shadows of the city, and when it was light again, they’d have omegas on their arms to give legitimacy to their pretense. Leonard’s seen more than a handful of alpha couples over the years; he remembers the two he’d seen growing up -- a lawyer and her florist girlfriend. Pretty faces, buoyant waves in their hair and black lining their eyes, their bright jewelry and clothes even more vibrant against their dark skin. He remembers looking away quickly, his cheeks pink, when they caught him staring, and how they’d laughed blithely, blew kisses his way that had flattered his fourteen-year-old self back then.  

Jocelyn had been a beta, however, and Leonard had been too enamored with the freckles on her face and her lovely, lilting voice. She didn’t have that particular, intoxicating scent to her neck that omegas did -- she drew him in with her smile and her wit and Leonard had thought he’d had a happy ever after in sight.

But he’d clearly thought wrong and now here he is at Starfleet, surrounded by every configuration of partners and not-partners. Here he is, with Jim who has _alpha_ weaved into every part of him and who wears his nature comfortably and casually, not parading it around like proof of superiority even when there’s an arrogant angle to his lips and determination narrowing his eyes.

Leonard feels a violent surge in his body at the sight of Jim, his blood working harder and like it's changed direction completely, and knows something’s already been set into motion.

***

It's a trope that still runs through so much of their holomovies and their fiction -- the predestined and fundamental compatibility between alphas and omegas that meant only they could ever be right for each other. That only they could share the truest of bonds, the deepest of loves.

“Romanticized horseshit,” Leonard’s father had said, the alpha to Leonard’s beta mother. “I ain't saying there's no truth in it at all, but there's also too much exaggeration. If you don’t want to be with an omega, Leonard, that’s completely fine. Don’t go thinking with your knot, no matter what those holovids tell you.”

“I won’t,” Leonard had said. Across the street, he saw that beautiful alpha again, the one that was a lawyer and wore bright outfits that sat perfectly on her.

***

The bartender is an omega and she’s smiling at Jim, a small lift to her chin letting the perfume of herself flow out from the space beneath. They smell so much like ripe fruits, omegas. Sweet and rich. And alphas -- well, Leonard can’t tell what he smells like but he knows that Jim smells like the hand that plucks that sweet, rich fruit. The mouth that gorges itself on it, hungry and relentless.

He knows that Jim makes him want to be eaten. 

“Got a date, then?” Leonard asks in a voice steadier than the jumble in his brain.

Jim places the drinks down onto the table, a pleased smile on his face. He’s already carrying a little of her scent along with him. “Yep,” he says, popping the ‘p’. “But we don’t have to talk about that. I know you couldn’t give a shit about who I go out with.”

“No, it’s not--” Leonard starts to say before he thinks better of it. He notices the absurd color of Jim’s drink. “What the hell is that? Is it meant to be that color?”

For a moment, Jim says nothing. Then he says, “Looks hazardous, right? Here’s hoping it actually isn’t,” and tips the drink into his mouth, pulling a face once he’s swallowed. Leonard shakes his head and sips at his much safer, wiser choice of good old bourbon. He asks Jim about his day.

Jim slips easily into the tale he has in store for Leonard today, gesticulating as he talks as usual. He tilts his body this way and that. Nudges Leonard’s shoulder with his. Each time, Leonard catches the fading omega scent on Jim and it teases the alpha in him, tells him to find an omega of his own. But like clockwork, Leonard searches for Jim’s natural scent, that deep, dark musk that will deepen further when he’s with the omega again. When he goes home with her and the omega is rolling her hips underneath Jim, working herself on his cock, her breasts caught between them, under Jim’s sturdy, heavy weight--

Heat swells beneath Leonard’s skin like a blush and he coughs and drops his glass on the table. Says, “Give me a minute, I need to go to the bathroom,” and leaves before Jim can comment on the change in Leonard’s scent.

***

Leonard had watched porn in his teenage years obviously. He didn’t know anyone who hadn’t.

There was a lot of the typical: omegas perpetually in heat, begging to be bred, and alphas never tiring of mounting them, selfless and unflagging in their need to satisfy their insatiable lovers.

It was the omegas that Leonard had watched mostly. At first, it was because they were intriguingly unfamiliar where alphas, considering Leonard's own biology, weren’t. They were so expressive in their need and their pleasure. So loud and unashamed and beautiful.

His thoughts had shifted as he grew older, a slowly-creeping shift like that old separation between continents. He hadn’t detected it until it had already happened and then it was too late to stop how he kept wondering how the omegas must have felt, sitting on their alpha’s cocks. How full they must be, how overwhelmed inside and out. Burning inside, stretched like that, and overflowing with come. It must have felt so _good_. So incredibly, extraordinarily good, such perfect pleasure.

***

It’s Leonard’s own fault for assuming that Jim hadn’t noticed and wouldn’t follow it up. It’s why he has no business being surprised when he sees Jim next and five minutes into lunch, Jim asks, “So what were you gonna say last night?”

“What?”

“When I said we didn’t have to talk about my date, you were going to say something but changed the subject.”

“Oh. It was nothing important.”

Jim nods. “So you can tell me what it was, then.”

Leonard rolls his eyes. Focuses on spearing his roasted vegetables. “’Nothing important’ means nothing important, Jim.”

“Were you interested in her? Did I get in your way?”

“No.”

“I could smell you, Bones," Jim says, knowing that Leonard could refute anything but not the facts that manifested themselves so physically. "You were hot for someone and if it wasn’t her, who was it?”

“I’m not interested in sleeping with an omega,” Leonard says and Jim raises an eyebrow.

For all that Leonard likes to act as if Jim is a predictable lout, Jim can get so unreadable sometimes. Silent and intense, liable to shock you with whatever he says or does next and the sheer shrewdness in it, and then you realize again that Jim only _lets_ you think he is predictable because it is advantageous to him.

Leonard can see the cogs in Jim’s head working smooth, neatly reaching to the correct conclusion already, plucking it straight out of Leonard’s mind. All Jim says, however, is, “Good thing there are plenty of betas and alphas around. In fact, there’s an alpha across the room from us who is checking you out right now.”

Leonard forces himself not to look. “I’m not interested in anyone right now. You can have the alpha and I’ll live vicariously through you, how about that?”

“Sure, I don’t mind. Getting knotted once was once enough for me, but there’s plenty of fun stuff to do that doesn’t involve a knot.” Jim chomps on a fry and licks absentmindedly at his fingertips. He asks, “Have you slept with another alpha?”

“I never got around to it. Settled down too quickly.”

“Did you ever want to?”

Leonard can't tell if the question is as innocent as it sounds. Warning bells going off in his head and his spine prickling uncomfortably, he says, “What’s with the interrogation?”

“You’re getting defensive,” Jim notes mildly, like this is some debate club session. “Which means you _have_ wanted to sleep with another alpha...but also that you’re embarrassed by it.” His brow creases as he frowns. “Why are you embarrassed by it?”

“It’s not as simple as wanting to sleep with another alpha,” Leonard says reflexively and immediately regrets it. It’s another piece of the puzzle foolishly given away to Jim. “And that’s as much as I'm gonna say about it," he adds firmly to cut off any further lines of questioning. "Eat faster; we've got class in ten.”

***

They’re not exactly designed for it, but it’s not like it’s impossible for an alpha to take another alpha’s knot. It takes time and careful preparation. A lot of fingering and maybe liberal use of toys to loosen themselves up in place of the natural slick omegas have dripping headily out of them.

But it isn't always about taking an alpha’s knot. Leonard had learned that the night he stumbled onto the two men in the alleyway. He’d heard sounds, thought maybe a scuffle was going on, thought maybe someone needed help.

No one needed help -- or at least, not the kind of help that a medical student was needed for.

Groaning, scrabbling uselessly at each other with desperate fingers, they were wild, writhing shapes, somewhat hidden in the dark of the alley.

“Fuck me,” one had whispered fervently. “Fuck me, you gotta, fuck me.” Silenced only by the other’s mouth. Wet, long kisses that should have been smothering, but the pair of them just kept going ravenously. 

“You’re no alpha when you’re with me, baby,” the second man had said and Leonard’s heartbeat had raced, threatening to explode out of his chest. His cock was already pushing urgently against his jeans, thick and growing thicker. “You’re sweet as a fucking omega when you’re begging for my dick and that’s what you want, isn’t it--wanna be wet as an omega, fucked as hard as an omega, bred like an omega. I’m right, aren’t I, baby?”

“ _Yes_ ,” the first moaned out and even with the distance between them, Leonard had smelled the bright flare of arousal. “Yes, fuck, please. _Please_ , alpha.”

Drawing in a silent breath, Leonard had forgotten who he was, where he was, and had reached down to pull out his dick, night air doing nothing to soothe its aching heat. He'd fisted himself almost painfully tight, more turned on in that moment than he had ever been in his life. 

***

Jim’s never flirted with him. He’s flirted with people around Leonard, but never with him. Leonard resides in a safe, untouchable place where Jim’s bedroom eyes and purring voice don’t reach him.

At least they didn’t used to.

Now Jim’s fingers brush against Leonard’s, seemingly casually. He compliments Leonard more often -- tells him the sweep of his hair sits attractively over Leonard’s forehead and that the dark green shirt looks good on him, shows off his built upper body. He leans in too close, inviting skin and lithe body all making loud, wonderful promises. Licks his lips frequently and coyly asks, “Something the matter?” whenever he catches Leonard staring or stiffening.

“No,” Leonard forces out, Jim’s scent in his every breath, teasing him, teasing him always. Jim is the most tantalizing thing Leonard’s been in the presence of and now he is suddenly even more so. 

It’s the night that Jim’s drunk that something actually happens. Jim’s not black-out drunk, but he needs Leonard’s help to return to his dorm and readily tucks himself under Leonard’s arm.

Mitchell’s away for the weekend, so it’s empty inside and strangely neater than Leonard had expected it to be. He walks Jim over to the made-up bed and drops him gracelessly onto it. At the last second, Jim grabs onto Leonard’s arm, dragging him down. There isn’t much space for two full grown men on Jim’s single bed and Leonard instinctively keeps close to Jim in an attempt not to fall onto the floor. Jim grins at him, slow and dirty, his long lashes golden around sultry eyes. “Hey, Bones. How did you get here?” He's right up against Leonard, his exhale Leonard’s inhale.

“You are so lucky I put up with you,” Leonard says, already buzzing from the close proximity, and quickly goes to get up. To _escape_.

Jim’s faster and he throws himself onto Leonard, pressing him down into the mattress. Leonard catches him, the mass of Jim filling up Leonard’s arms perfectly like he’d been specifically crafted for that space, but severed prematurely. “Lucky doesn’t begin to cover it,” Jim whispers and swipes away Leonard’s response with his own mouth, dropping it wet and hot over Leonard’s.

Leonard’s lips open without fight the way they were always going to if he and Jim had ever made it to this point. He moans at the luxurious dark chocolate taste pouring from Jim’s mouth into his and kisses back frantically. He'd known. He'd known Jim would taste this good, would kiss this good, would smell this good, everything about him delectable like he'd been tailor-made for Leonard in a way literature says only omegas are. Grabbing onto Jim's shirt, Leonard tries to keep him impossibly close. 

“Sleep with me, Bones,” Jim murmurs, his wet lips forming the words against the wetness of Leonard's. “You wanna sleep with an alpha, right? Do it with me.”

Leonard hears the words through a haze at first and then hears them more clearly. They drip like melting ice into his ears and somehow he finds the strength to push Jim away. “No,” he says, "No, we can't." The first thing his mind thinks of. His body -- his body has other thoughts. It rings with a screaming, animal echo of _yes_.

Jim looks much sober than he had been ten minutes ago, his eyes incredibly serious, and Leonard realizes maybe he wasn’t that drunk after all. “I thought maybe it was just you reacting on instinct. We can’t help getting turned on sometimes. But it’s not that, is it, Bones? You want this, pure and simple, so what are you so afraid of?” Leonard stubbornly gives him no answer and Jim sighs. “Look, I’m just putting it out there, that’s all. I don’t know your reasons for why you can’t sleep with an alpha even though you want to, but if you change your mind, well, I’m here.”

“It’s not a good idea.”

“Because we’re friends? You scared it’ll make things awkward between us if we sleep together?”

Leonard gives him a look. “You don’t think it will?”

“It’d only make things awkward if we let it,” Jim says easily. “And I don’t intend to that do that – do you?”

“I don’t want to sleep with you,” Leonard lies, makes it sound like one of his usual grumblings so that it slips by Jim undetected, and leaves Jim to take care of himself.

It’s better the next time they see each other. Jim doesn’t touch him, doesn’t even mention the conversation they had, and Leonard tells himself he has no right to feel disappointed that Jim listened to him.

***

The desire roaring in him, so close to spilling out, frightens him and Leonard does what his father told him not to: he thinks with his knot. It’s by accident that he meets Naina just off campus, but the rest is deliberate. Button-nosed and sweet, Naina smells like omega perfection and looks it, too. Her green eyes are large and bright and her lipstick leaves a cherry stain on Leonard’s mouth. He doesn’t care, just goes in for more, and the kissing turns into grabbing and the grabbing turns into two rounds of sex back at her apartment, Leonard driving into her heat, her slick all over his thighs and at the back of his throat from when he’d tasted her.

There is no preternatural blue to her gaze or knowing cockiness to her smiles. She is soft and earnest, not hard muscle and seductive. She is _safe_. Makes Leonard want familiar things.

He doesn’t linger for long afterwards even though she says she doesn’t mind and thanks her for the great time before merrily going on his way. He feels like a fluid creature almost, every muscle sitting relaxed in his body. Satisfied, he doesn't crave anything else. 

Except he does as soon as he's back on campus and he turns the corner to find Jim tussling with Gary Mitchell, laughing as Mitchell sputters in fake indignation. All the fulfillment Leonard had found while buried in Naina’s giving body slips away without word. Leonard also slips away without word, moving before Jim catches sight of him.

It’s not love, what he feels for Jim. Towards him. It’s not love and that’s all right because Leonard’s been in love once and it hadn’t been all that it was cracked up to be. He doesn’t think it’s just because Jocelyn had been a beta, either. What he feels for Jim, what he wants from him--it’s primal and hot and thrilling, running illicitly like electricity across the lines of his body. 

It’s got Leonard bound up in knots he can't untangle and it makes him go home and fuck himself open with his fingers and a toy, sliding them into the core of himself while he thinks of Jim over him, inside him, spreading him open on his massive knot. His breath scorching Leonard's neck, his eyes filled with want. “ _Such a sweet omega, such a good one._ ”

It makes Leonard come hard every time, devastatingly, like his entire self is being wrenched out of his body. 

***

He doesn’t make it a long conversation. “OK, let’s do it,” falls out of his mouth the moment Jim picks up.

There’s silence on the other end at first and then Jim says, “OK.”

***

Silently, Leonard pours them both drinks and pushes one across the counter towards Jim.

“Liquid courage?” Jim says lightly and empties the glass with one quick throw of his head. His milky throat seems to gleam softly. There’s bronze stubble at his jaw that Leonard wants to grind his palm into and carry the scraping sensation away with him. “Hey,” Jim says at Leonard’s obvious lack of answer, soft like Leonard is a virgin he needs to guide through the motions. “It’s all right. If you don’t want to do this, it’s all right.”

“I haven’t changed my mind,” Leonard says. His voice is too hoarse already. He wets his lips and watches Jim track the movement of his tongue.

“We’ll start off slow, then,” Jim says and carefully takes Leonard’s glass out of his hands. It sits down on the counter with a clink that sounds too loud.

Then: Jim’s delicious dark chocolate mouth, slow and thorough in its persuasion. His scent bursting and blooming all around Leonard, a soporific that plays with Leonard’s head until he’s groaning dazedly and leaning into every press of Jim’s lips to his.

They kiss with no rush. They get undressed with no rush. Jim opens him up with no rush, fingers working slick and determined at Leonard’s hole, working patiently for ages until Leonard is so open and wet -- wet as an omega and it makes him tremble. Jim’s cock is so similar in size to Leonard’s own. It’s pink and large and damp enough at the tip that Leonard’s mouth waters and he has to swallow. He has to stop thinking about wanting to bury his face against it and against Jim's heavy balls. 

"I'm going to fuck you now, Bones," is a low-toned rumble from the depth of Jim’s chest, his hands curled on Leonard's spread thighs. 

Leonard breathes in. The tip of Jim's cock touches his hole, then pushes in, pushes in, pushes in, an inexorable pressure that forces the tightness of Leonard's body to part and to just _take it_. Leonard's world narrows down quickly and simply to the presence of Jim inside him -- how inescapable he is, how hot and firm and huge _._ He's going to crack Leonard apart into two pieces and Leonard wants to be cracked apart, so he begs, “ _Again_ ,” and lets Jim slide out and then give it to him all over again.

Jim keeps a pace that is resolutely steady even when he has Leonard moaning obscenely for faster, harder, deeper, tightening his grip on Jim's hair and bucking up restlessly into Jim's cock. But when Jim says, “I’m close to coming, Bones,” Leonard fills in the blanks and tenses instinctively.

“No, don’t do that, it’s OK,” Jim says, rubbing a soothing hand down Leonard’s heaving side. “You don’t have to take my knot, not on your first time. I'm just gonna --”

Jim’s dragging his cock out and that also feels exquisite, but Leonard clamps down hard and refuses to let him. He gathers up all of the secret desire twisting inside of him and whispers, “Do it. Knot me, Jim.” Jim pauses, so Leonard says, “Come on, Jim, knot me,” and hears his own exhilarating desperation, suddenly unable to feel embarrassed about it. Not here, not now, not when he has Jim’s perfect cock inside him and the thick smell of them together is an intoxicant in the air all round them. “Fill me with your knot.”

Jim groans like it’s the best thing he’s ever heard. “You sure? You better be sure because you’re killing me here, Bones.”

“Yeah?” Leonard drags Jim in for a fierce kiss. “You like hearing me say I want you to knot me? I want it, Jim. Your knot. In me. Give me that fat knot, bury it in--”

Jim _snarls_ , his face predatory, just as it has always been in Leonard's fantasies, and Jim's voice is a growl of, "You’re gagging for it more than an omega."

That’s all Leonard needs, that look and that voice and that _word_. His orgasm is a river he can’t hold back and it washes over him, overwhelming and inescapable. Unconstrained, his mouth groans, “Please, alpha,” and lets out the words Leonard's kept hidden miles deep inside of himself for years.

***

“You’re no alpha when you’re with me, baby,” the man in the alleyway had said. “You’re sweet as a fucking omega when you’re on my dick and that’s what you want, isn’t it--wanna be be wet as an omega, fucked as hard as an omega, bred like an omega. I’m right, aren’t I, baby?”

“ _Yes_ ,” his partner had moaned out. “Yes, fuck, please. _Please_ , alpha.”

Please, Leonard had thought in his head, hand working too rough and too fast over his own dick. Please, alpha.

***

Jim is watching Leonard closely as Leonard comes back down. He’s still inside Leonard, keeping him spread open. “Bones,” he says. Just that. A single word filled with realization.

“I,” Leonard starts breathless, humiliated. Nothing more follows.

Something flickers over Jim’s face. Something full of intent. It makes Leonard shiver. “Do you still want me to knot you?” Jim asks lightly, but it's the kind of lightness that's superficial and hides something darker. He leans in. Breath scorching Leonard's neck, eyes filled with want. “Do you still want me to knot you, _omega_?”

The sound that leaves Leonard is an almost agonizing sound of desperation and he nods furiously, unable to speak with the vehement need clogging him up inside.

Jim pulls out. Before Leonard can haul him back inside, Jim says, "If you want it so much, omega, you know the correct way to ask for your alpha's knot." 

" _Jim_." Leonard is sweltering inside the heat of how much he wants exactly what Jim is asking him to do. Every nerve in him is jumping, ecstatic. With trembling thighs, he turns onto his hands and knees and gradually lowers his forehead down to the pillow. Head down, ass up, legs spread. _Presenting_.

“Oh, fuck,” Jim groans from behind him and Leonard’s cheeks are hot as brands. “Oh, fuck, Bones. You look fucking fantastic and you smell incredible, fuck.”

“I want your knot, alpha,” Leonard whispers. "Give me your knot." 

Barely a second later, Jim's cock slides back in right to the hilt, rough and perfect. Leonard feels it immediately: Jim’s knot, the steady swelling of it, growing, growing, growing. Expanding in him, stretching his rim, first uncomfortable and then quickly becoming into pain. The stretch and fullness of before is nothing like what it is now. Now it really feels like maybe Jim really will crack him apart into two pieces. 

“Jim,” Leonard whispers brokenly. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, it’s so big, Jim, you’re so big, it’s gonna tear me apart. _Jim_.” Small, incredibly soft and vulnerable sounds keep slipping out of his throat, Leonard too helpless and weak to hold them in. There's so much pressure inside of him, he doesn't know how omegas can handle it. 

“Shh, it’s OK, just relax, baby,” Jim soothes even through the ragged moans that escape him as his cock pulses out come. “Let it happen and it’ll be fine, you’ll see.” He’s got a hand rubbing at Leonard’s side and keeps kissing Leonard’s skin in an irregular rhythm, mouth burning against Leonard’s shoulder, nape, temple. “You’re doing great. You’re a perfect omega. Perfect.”

Leonard's head is spinning. He feels light-headed hearing Jim talk like that. Wants Jim to stop and wants Jim to continue. Above all, he just wants Jim, and Leonard chooses to focus on that until somehow, somehow, he manages to relax more around Jim's knot. It takes him an age, but he gets there. “I’m so _full_ ,” he whispers.

“Yeah. Full of my cock and full of my come. Feels good, doesn’t it? Feels right.”

Leonard takes a deep breath, takes another. It's getting easier -- or maybe not easier, maybe his mind just can't tell anymore what feels good and what hurts. Slowly, Leonard arches his back.

“ _Fuck_ , _Bones_ ,” Jim moans. Leonard thinks about what had felt good to him the times he'd slept with an omega and tries very gently grinding against Jim’s knot, satisfied when he hears Jim make a choking sound. Inside him, Jim’s cock jerks and comes again and again, a constant throb filling Leonard to the brim, turning his body into a mere vessel for Jim’s seed. “Take it all, baby. Be a good omega and take it all for me.”

“I’m not--” Leonard tries to say.

“Not an omega? Not a gorgeous, greedy, desperate omega writhing on my knot?”

“Jim. Please.”

“Please what?” Jim’s smile is a sly curl on his face. His smoky voice wraps around Leonard like a second skin.

"Please, alpha." It should feel wrong, uttering those words, but it doesn't. It feels like the best song leaving Leonard's throat. 

“God, you’re so pretty like this. So pretty. Born to take a knot, weren’t you. Born to take _my_ knot.”

Leonard tosses his head restlessly on the pillow beneath. His mouth says, “Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.” He's chanting it in his mind, too, and basking in how intense it all feels, overwhelming in the best way, pain and pleasure a beautifully blurred line. 

“Such a good knot-hungry omega. Can’t wait ‘til you’re in heat, Bones. Gonna fuck you so good, so deep, deeper than this. Gonna breed you. You want that? Want all of my seed?”

 _Yes_.

Leonard isn’t sure if he says it out loud or not, his entire body lurching in zealous agreement. Murmuring something low and reassuring, Jim pulls them both down onto the bed so that they're lying on their sides. He buries his face into Leonard's nape and Leonard feels him mouth there endlessly, working a deep mark into the skin. “I’ve got you, Bones, you know that, don’t you? An alpha’s always got his omega.”

Leonard closes his eyes. Jim is still huge and coming inside him, pumping him full of seed that'll gush out of Leonard later, making small circular movements with his hips that pull at Leonard's tender core and make him whimper. It'll be a while until Jim can separate from him. Leonard doesn't mind, doesn't care and doesn't need to care right now. His alpha has him.

***

They’re both sprawled on their backs now, Leonard's bed big enough to actually allow it. The line where their arms are touching is hot and damp with sweat. Leonard is sticky and uncomfortable in several places: between his thighs, between the cheeks of his ass, his belly and chest. It's too much and it's perfect.

“It’s nothing to be ashamed of, you know. Your kink. Doesn’t mean you actually think it’s demeaning or whatever to be an omega or that you’re lowering yourself somehow to let an alpha fuck you. Doesn’t mean you’re any less of an alpha.”

“I know that,” Leonard says tiredly.

“Do you?” Jim says, but not unkindly. It’s not an accusation or point-scoring. It’s Jim gently checking, so Leonard accepts it.

“Just...still haven’t gotten used to it, I guess. I’m an alpha and I have no trouble being an alpha with omegas, but I never expected to – want to feel like an omega when _I’m_ with an alpha.”

“You never let yourself get used to it,” Jim points out. “Didn’t experiment and help yourself accept it, like you probably would have if you hadn’t met Jocelyn.” Leonard keeps quiet because Jim isn’t saying anything that Leonard hasn’t told himself over the years. Jim continues, “The answer’s pretty obvious here, Bones, and I don’t say that out of egotism.”

“You trying to get me into bed again, Jim?” Leonard says dryly. Before Jim can come back with a reply, though, he tentatively says, “It _is_ just about sleeping together, isn’t it? Because I think that's all I can offer you right now.”

"I think neither of us needs to make this more than what it is," Jim says. "I’m just...willing to help. _Happy_ to help. Someone safe and familiar for you to come to.” An unsurprisingly lewd smirk crooks Jim’s mouth just then. “For you to come _with_. Against. Over--”

“Oh, God, shut up,” Leonard says, but it’s too late -- he’s already chuckling and Jim is propping himself up on an elbow and grinning at him, carefree, sunshine-bright Jim once again.

“Come on, you wanna deny yourself the wonder that is my cock? You really wanna do that? Seems like a poor life choice from where I’m standing, Bones.”

“I have no trouble believing you believe that.”

“Correct me if I’m wrong, but I think that was you laying down a challenge?”

“Hell, no,” Leonard says. His dick won’t be getting up for another hour and he _aches_. God, he aches. He'll be feeling this for days -- savoring it, the soreness of his hole, the deeper ache inside. “I’m not ready to go through that again a second time today.” 

“Another day, then,” Jim says breezily, but his grin fades little by little, leaving behind something cajoling and earnest. “What I’m saying is: let yourself have this, Bones. Just that. Let yourself.”

“I never thought it could be as easy as that,” Leonard admits.

“It can. With me, it can.”

If he’s honest, Leonard doesn’t know why he’s surprised. It’s never been difficult with Jim even when it probably should have been with two people so clearly different.

He lifts a hand and rubs the palm against the stubble on Jim's jaw like he'd wanted to do before. Jim watches him with those incredibly blue eyes -- happy, dancing eyes -- so Leonard doesn’t bother arguing or prolonging the conversation. He pulls Jim in until their lips meet and he lets himself have this.


End file.
